The Moon

2.30 in the night and through the window of this room, past a few faint clouds I can see the moon’s shine. It reminds me of all the places I’ve gone to, all the places I’ve been and all the places to which I will be going. In these moments I don’t quite know how to feel, the onslaught of memories and dreams overwhelm my mind and leave no space for emotions. That’s what I see my life as: the past, present and future, more exactly the dismal past, the stressful present and the unknown future. The past is what has shaped me, in the present I’m busy trying to create what I want my future past to be and, finally, my future is full of hopes and dreams. Seems like a taunting view on life for an optimist like myself, but optimism is what I define it as, my life is what I define it as and I define by making the choices I want to make.

The moon’s shine seems stale, almost monochromatic in the way it seeps through the clouds and into my eye, where it swirls up a pool of worry and self-pity. I get lost in my thoughts and find myself combining the distance between myself and the moon with the idea of all the distance between myself and my dreams. They seem far away, completely unreachable, yet at the same time their aura mocks me, tempts me and gives me all the strength I need to go on. I’ve come to a turning point in my life, a point at which I need to define my future. I’m scared. “But so is everyone else – it passes” you might say, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. Many people fascinate about the moon, write about it, think about it, talk about it, but only very few ever reach it. I may be scared, but I know that I have what it takes to reach my own moon. A very wise and very important woman in my life has taught me: “If you want something, go get it”. Ironically enough, that exact woman is on my moon right now. That’s what the moon does to me. It scares me. The things I want scare me, but I find strength in my wise companion. She’s taught me much and she’s taught me well. I will do what is necessary to be her Neil Armstrong. What is ahead of me may seem almost impossible, but if I reach that place, that great shining rock, I know I can finally start living the present, instead of using it to form my future and past life. Once I’ve achieved that, I think I will have gone where neither man nor woman has gone before. And I can’t wait to share it.

A Memory's Mirage

So much love around, but
you're way out of bound and
I can't seem to put away,
stash away these memories that
are rooted deeply in my mind.

This smell, the walls, the bed, the chairs, the phone
they all feel so alone, as though
all my memories vaporize their very existence and
leave me in an empty room
whose walls echo your name.

I wish that soon I'll wake up, open my
eyes and have you in my arms, breath mildly tickling
my skin, like God was mocking me to make
up for all the good, for after all
there's a little thing called karma.

In every blink of an eye, my heart proves that we
won't lose against the world, for its weight
does not account for what we are
and always will be.



Image from: http://demonflame.deviantart.com/art/Two-Against-the-World-127404771

Don't 'Demon' and 'Human' Seem Similar to You?

You follow the doctrine of
long fallen men, their
ideas and theories possess you -
like parasitic insects.
Can't you open your eyes?

Past-dwelling is for authors -
leave it to them, young boy, let
them decide who to care for, whose
seeds to be planted in nurturing soil
of your mind.

I may be blind, but hear me speak
and you will know that
long ago, I was one.
One of the fallen.





Image from: http://salgada.deviantart.com/art/Demon-37773069

An Ode to...

This hall, this pleasure
it falls, we measure
ignorance the architect had not
accounted for. The roof
was meant to hold, but
refused abiding by the law.
We saw it fall.

We drank the bliss God has
missed to reason out for
us, we must control our
every word. He is watching us,
begrudging us. He will make the roof fall.

We asked you "is that all?", you
did not respond to our hurtful call.
So we turned our backs and watched
the hourglass tumble upside down.
Blame us, for we have
failed ourselves.



Image from: http://abanna.deviantart.com/art/Failure-164601841

Schizophrenia

Oh, what have you done?
Did you really justOh God, what have you done?
What did you do to her?

Her heavy carriage filled with hay and
broken dreams, did you not
see her suffer? I saw and
I did what I had to do, what
you told me to. I can't
believe what you've done.

Her tender voice left me
no choice, I had to act, oh
please I beg for you to
tell me this isn't true, let me
repent.

Is this the end? Or have you just
started to teach me, preach me, oh God
you can't reach me, his blood-thirsty
fangs have already breached my heart.
Please forgive me, forgive me for
tearing her apart.



Image from: http://aspius.deviantart.com/art/SCHIZOPHRENIA-21069327?q=boost%3Apopular+schizophrenia&qo=1

Beichte

I didn't ask for my name
I asked for you
for you to be in pain, for
your head to spin 'round your neck.
Just so I can
I can finally breathe.

You cuffed me to your arm, though
I want you no harm, though I
was misunderstood.
Poor baby, he ate someone.
Where is this coming from?

You wrote this book, now
read it out, read it loud, so
everyone can hear and
everyone will know what you did.
They will all find out what you did to me.



Image from: http://littlewolfcat.deviantart.com/art/My-Guilt-49010658